Friday, March 7, 2008
I had the misfortune to witness Tottenham’s truly pitiful capitulation at home to PSV last night and my eye was repeatedly drawn to the following slogan rotating on the electronic advertising hoardings:
Quite how some twat in a Soho office managed to make that association is beyond me, but I know I’ve never come home from a game in the park and thought ‘oh, I really enjoyed that kick around, perhaps I’d enjoy getting shot in the face even more’.
Like football? You’ll love the army.
I can’t even say I’ve ever turned off the TV after watching France v Brazil and felt a strong yearning to watch my friends’ limbs get blown off at close range.
Funny that. Why not extend the anology a little further:
Like chocolate? You’ll love being gang raped.Wankers.
Like flowers? You’ll love being mauled by a pack of pitbulls.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I’ve decided to start imparting my vast knowledge of advertising to useless plebs like you. Consider yourselves very, very lucky.
I’ll update this blog whenever I’m not too busy being brilliant or shagging some gorgeous bird.
If I can be bothered that is.
Laters.
OP
Oestrus Pudenda is a creative genius. Although he chooses to work in the field of advertising and marketing he is clearly better than you at everything. He is also much better looking than you, could beat you up and take your girlfriend up the Gary if he wanted, which he doesn't because she’s ugly and it smells.
Oestrus lives in London where he is currently working on a book of existentialist poetry and some filthy comedy video clips.
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